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Eventually, it stopped and someone picked up on the other end. Jessica’s voice choked off into a wheeze and all I could hear on the other end of the phone was the rustling of clothing and more wheezing. “What do you-” I began to say, but was cut off by those diminished chords blaring into my ear, then I heard Jessica’s voice. This is Samantha with Boothworld Industries again. My phone rang at three o’clock on the dot that afternoon. I rolled my eyes and went back to unpacking. That strange chord played twice again and the line went dead. We at Boothworld Industries say thanks and welcome to the club. “Normally we can’t arrange for a reschedule on such short notice, but today we had a cancellation. “Do you have anything available for today?” Will that work?”Īt this point, I thought I was going insane and that it actually was the plumbing company. “Yes?” I said, not understanding what the woman was asking. I thought that whoever was on the other end of the phone was holding in a laugh. The woman didn’t respond for a long time. “Who is this? Is this you, Jessica? Are you playing a prank on me?” I asked. “Remodeling is scheduled for August 21, 2015. After a few moments of this, she returned. It sounded like the woman was pounding the thing with her fists. I could hear the clicking of a keyboard on the other end of the phone. I took that as a yes and gave them the name of an old ex-girlfriend. “Remodeling? Is this the plumber?” I asked. How had she known that I’d made up that name? The whole thing felt like it was some sort of prank, but hardly anyone knew my new phone number. “Sir, as your operator, I must point out that fictitious names, or the names of people that you don’t know, cannot be used.” I didn't know what to say so I told the operator my name. My name is Samantha and I will be your operator today. I’d started to drowse off when the music stopped and a piano chord that sounded like it was three notes that didn't quite go together played through the receiver twice. It was one of the few places in the cabin not occupied with boxes. I hopped up and sat on the cabinet in the kitchen. When I picked up the phone I didn’t even get a chance to say hello before a woman on the line told me to “Please hold for the next available operator.” Usually, plumbers don’t bother to call or show up until 5. Because of that, I now have the wonderful task of making calls to competent people that can fix what the original contractors did wrong. I just moved into a cabin and the contractors fucked everything up.
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I’d been up for a few hours, unpacking and cleaning, waiting for the plumber to call.
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Even if I wanted your help, you couldn't give it to me, because your help is useless.